I’m drowning in the water while you’re standing on the bridge above

how do you feel? Did you ever feel anything? For me or for her, it doesn’t matter anymore. All I did was waste my time  on a boy lost in his own mind. You never spoke a word, were you afraid you’d say something wrong? No, that was my job. 

all you ever talk to me about is getting high and how much life sucks when you’re sober

I am literally overwhelmed with pain in my chest. I have not felt this way in a very long time. At the same time I still feel nothing but I’m sick so sick of how things are with me
I don’t want someone smothering me, I just want to get drunk and fall asleep, wake up late and not have a thing on my list of things to do.
I don’t want someone next to me telling me everything is going to be alright because it’s not, and it probably never will be again.
Im so tired of how I’ve been for the last four years, I hate who Ive turned out to be. I feel like half the time I feel like just a body wandering around without a soul
I’m empty I’m drained It’s 2:36
I don’t need anyone
Goodnight

There are two people in my life that have been telling me that I can really be somebody. That I could actually turn out to be the person I want to be. I refuse to believe it, but after tonight I received some advice from George. He didn’t even know me, but at the same time he did. He knew exactly how I was after knowing me for an hour. He told me that I have a way of being able to express myself through performing and that I should start writing again. And I can’t just have simply run out of things to say, that was not excuse to have stopped writing. Maybe it is true that I could speak to people. Maybe I could be somebody important.
And Mike told me that I’m really good at guitar. That he believes I should pursue music now because he thinks I will go far. He said, “don’t be like me, still trying in his 30s and ending up a guitar teacher.”
And George said that I’ve probably stunted my mental growth from not writing, which is also true. I feel so drained and boring, and I lack creativity in the worst way.
Three people have told me to start writing music and lyrics, and I think it’s about time that I actually listened to them.

OMG totally just met this awesome dude from England who showed me all this awesome music and I think I’m in love with him for it
Not like in love but yeah holy crap some good stuff
And why are they all fucking stoners
.-.